worry and irritability

Matthew 8:26  He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"  Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

In Matthew 8 we find Jesus traveling with His disciples, interacting with different people, healing many.  He demonstrates power over sickness; He heals by the words He speaks.  The disciples are there watching, with front-row seats for the display of the power of Jesus.  But when they find themselves in a small boat in a big stormy sea, they are afraid.  

Jesus, on the other hand, is asleep.  Asleep!  I think the disciples do pretty well.  They've seen what Jesus can do.  So they wake Him up and ask Him to help.  And of course, He does.  With just a few words He calms the wind and the waves.  

But it seems that He was hoping for more from His disciples.  He wants them to trust Him.  He doesn't want them to be afraid.  I don't live my life with a sense of fear, exactly.  But this morning I recognize that being out of control of life's circumstances can bring out some unwanted characteristics of mine.  Worry and irritability.  They, like fear, are a sign of a lack of trust in Jesus.  They can creep up in me without me even noticing them. But there they are, showing me that I need to get back to that place of quiet trust in Jesus.  

I meditated on this passage of Scripture this morning.  In my mind I was in that boat with Jesus.  He was resting, and I was fretting.  Fretting over my oldest son's health, worrying about problems that I can't possibly solve, weighed down by sadness over a friend's death...  And Jesus lovingly asks me, you of little faith, why are you so afraid?  He draws me closer to Him and invites me to rest with Him, who has the authority over even the wind and the waves.